1 00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:07,842 Ooh, can't wait to touch your body. 2 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:10,386 Ooh, girl, make sweet love to you. 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,138 All night long. 4 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,765 Yeah, your butt is so fine. 5 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,852 Want to use it like a pillow all the time. 6 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,164 Oh. Well, that episode was a hoot and a holler, wasn't it? 7 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,732 That is a great episode, 8 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,859 but this next episode is our favorite episode. 9 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:26,420 It's called "The Mexican Staring Frog 10 00:00:26,444 --> 00:00:28,029 of Southern Sri Lanka." 11 00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,864 That's right, and it's all about this army 12 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:32,533 of futuristic vehicles which can drop out of planes 13 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,458 and then run in silent mode, and they actually 14 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,430 use the silent mode to sneak up behind their enemies, 15 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,122 and they don't even know they're there. 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,332 And the leader, who wears this big silver suit, 17 00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,144 he's almost late, but then he uses a flying mode 18 00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:43,044 to get in the back of this plane... 19 00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,503 Dude. Dude. 20 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,756 - That's not this episode. - It's not? 21 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:49,425 No, dude, that's that movie "Megaforce." 22 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,153 - We didn't do that? - No, dude, that came out 23 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,845 when we were, like, 12 years old. 24 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,156 Oh, dude, we should have done that. 25 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,639 That was a sweet movie. 26 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,891 Well, yeah, but this is the episode where it has... 27 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,079 You know, where it has Jesus, and he gets his own talk show, 28 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,373 and they're... they're after that Mexican staring frog and stuff. 29 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,107 Oh, we should have done "Megaforce." 30 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,234 That was a sweet movie. We should have done that. 31 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,571 Well, enjoy "The Mexican Staring Frog 32 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,490 of Southern Sri Lanka." 33 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,492 - Say hey-oh. - Hey-oh. 34 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:16,786 - Say whoa. - Whoa. 35 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,672 I'm going down to South Park. 36 00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:30,674 Gonna have myself a time. 37 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,384 Friendly faces everywhere. 38 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,928 Humble folks without temptation. 39 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,387 Going down to South Park. 40 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:37,223 Gonna leave my woes behind. 41 00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,933 Ample parking day or night. 42 00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:40,434 People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" 43 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:41,936 Headed on up to South Park. 44 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,521 Gonna see if I can't unwind. 45 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,359 So come on down to South Park. 46 00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,152 And meet some friends of mine. 47 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,947 And now back to "Huntin' and Killin'" 48 00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:55,574 with South Park's favorite hunters Jimbo and Ned. 49 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,910 I'm Jimbo Kern, and this here is Ned. 50 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,287 - Say hi, Ned. - Hi, Ned. 51 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,540 Now isn't that great? 52 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:03,975 We have a terrific show for you today. 53 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,543 We're gonna kill some elk 54 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,268 and we're gonna kill some mountain goats. 55 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:10,714 Now, the new law passed by Colorado legislature, 56 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,259 which Ned and I call Pussy Law 57 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,153 that we can no longer kill animals in defense. 58 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,428 In other words, our old line 59 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,222 of "It's comin' right for us"... 60 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,724 - "It's comin' right for us!" - No longer works. 61 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,434 So now we only kill animals to... 62 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,580 If we don't hunt, then these animals 63 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:26,856 will grow too big in number 64 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,399 and they won't have enough food. 65 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,401 So you see, we have to kill animals 66 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,486 or else they'll die. 67 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,200 Uh, so roll the tape. 68 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,685 Here we are up at Shaffers Crossing 69 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,120 looking for some animals. 70 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,997 Lookee, Ned, there's some deers. 71 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,874 Quick, Ned, thin out their numbers. 72 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,625 Thin out their numbers. 73 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,423 Good work, Ned, now they won't starve. 74 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,383 That sure was a great hunting trip. 75 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,135 We saved those deer from extinction. 76 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,595 We're environmentalists. 77 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:58,888 Coming up next, 78 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,431 we're gonna drop some napalm 79 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,516 on an unsuspecting family of beavers, 80 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,226 and also try to thin out the numbers 81 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,687 of some endangered species. 82 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,943 Mr. Garrison, what's Vietnam? 83 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,361 What's Vietnam? 84 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,030 A question a child might ask 85 00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:17,698 but not a childish question. 86 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,701 Children, for the next few days 87 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,453 we'll be learning all about Vietnam. 88 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,258 Chances are that somebody in your own lives 89 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,290 was affected by this incredible war. 90 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,833 That's right, Mr. Garrison, 91 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,501 the Vietnam War was sticky and icky. 92 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:32,087 Mr. Garrison, were you in Vietnam? 93 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,343 Come on, man, let's go! 94 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,510 Jump out of the chopper! 95 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,889 Who's next to take a shower? 96 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,641 Me, I am! 97 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:45,351 You just took one last time, silly. 98 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:48,187 Oh, where can I hide this big pipe? 99 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,730 No, I wasn't in Vietnam. 100 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,815 But sometimes I like to pretend I was. 101 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:55,152 Anyway, children, I'm going to assign you all a paper. 102 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,321 I want you all to find somebody in your own life 103 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,698 who was in Vietnam and interview them about it. 104 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,909 What if we don't know anybody who was in Vietnam? 105 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,577 Then you get an F, fail the third grade 106 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,412 and have to get a job cleaning septic tanks 107 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,957 to support your drug habit. 108 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,708 Dude, my uncle Jimbo was in Vietnam. 109 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,086 Hey, yeah, he and Ned do that stupid TV show. 110 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:13,671 And now time for... 111 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,817 One of our loyal viewers from South Park 112 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,593 sent us some 8-millimeter film 113 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,304 of what he claims to be the Mexican staring frog 114 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,764 of southern Sri Lanka. 115 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,432 Now, as you all know, 116 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,357 the Mexican staring frog of southern Sri Lanka 117 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812 can supposedly kill you with one horrid gaze. 118 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,523 If a person even so much as looks into the frog's eyes, 119 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,608 they can be paralyzed or even die. 120 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,110 And this film proves that that frog 121 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,403 may very well exist. 122 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,904 Now watch carefully. 123 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,115 You're gonna see the Mexican staring frog. 124 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,660 There! There, did you see it? 125 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,537 Roll that back again. 126 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,122 Now freeze it. 127 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,873 Well, I'd like to know what 128 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,583 all you skeptics have to say now. 129 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,419 - What do you think, Ned? - I'm scared. 130 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,854 Well, be sure to join us next time. 131 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,714 Until then... 132 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,841 We're so glad you spent a time with us. 133 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,694 While we slaughtered our way through nature's guts. 134 00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:02,511 Come again and stay a while. 135 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,179 We'll kill a lot more living things. 136 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,305 And make them bleed. 137 00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,640 Good night. 138 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,100 And we're cut, great show, guys. 139 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,476 Oh, lookee who's here. 140 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,186 My little nephew, Stanley. 141 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,187 So you're interested in your Uncle Jimbo's 142 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,981 big TV show, huh? 143 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,066 No, we have to do a stupid report on Vietnam. 144 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,003 You and Ned are the only guys we know who were there. 145 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:20,738 - Oh, yeah, we sure were. - Was it fun? 146 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,340 Cartman, what kind of stupid-ass question is that? 147 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,615 Of course it was fun. 148 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,200 Well, sure, Vietnam was fun. 149 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,785 But not like going to the circus fun 150 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,287 or fly fishing in Montana fun. 151 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,164 No, Vietnam was more like 152 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,166 shoving shards of broken glass up your ass 153 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,131 and then sitting in a tub of Tabasco sauce fun! 154 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,421 Yepper, that's where me and Ned met. 155 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,975 I remember I had just gotten off the Ferris wheel. 156 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,519 Oh, boy, what a gorgeous day. 157 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,109 Kern, get over here. 158 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,861 The new privates are here. 159 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,380 I'm assigning one of them to you as a trainee. 160 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,823 Ned Gerblansky. 161 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,009 Ned Gerblansky reporting, sir. 162 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,284 Thanks, Ned. 163 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,678 Now, the bad guys have been spotted 164 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,579 about ten clicks north of here. 165 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,599 I know that you and Kern are best suited to take them out. 166 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:16,085 - Are you up for it? - Sir, yes, sir. 167 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,045 Soon it was all on just me and Ned 168 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:19,838 to win the war for America. 169 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,799 Pass me some more cocoa, will you, Ned? 170 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,985 Certainly, and would you like another muffin as well? 171 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,095 Why the hell not? We're at war. 172 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,888 Hey, you know those things are bad for your throat. 173 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,475 No, that's all lies. I'll be fine. 174 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,435 Charlies at two o'clock! 175 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,562 I see 'em, drop the bomb! 176 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,980 The bomb's not releasing! 177 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,690 - Oh, no! - It won't budge. 178 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:41,193 Then we only have one option. 179 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,945 What are you doing, man? 180 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,406 We have to take 'em out, Ned, at all costs! 181 00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:47,658 Die, you red commie bastards! 182 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,754 Oh, no, out of ammo! 183 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,561 We did it, Ned. 184 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,521 We killed the entire Viet Cong army. 185 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,606 Whoopee! 186 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,316 Let's get back to base camp. 187 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,152 We can ride the log ride before it closes. 188 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,799 And that's the way it happened, boys. 189 00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:30,576 - Wow! - Man, Vietnam was sweet. 190 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,244 Great news, guys, your TV show ratings 191 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,954 have doubled! 192 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,165 They've gone from six people to twelve. 193 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,584 Holy smokes, we could get an Emmy. 194 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,796 We've got to do it, J... Your rating are being killed 195 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,256 by the Jimbo and Ned hunting show. 196 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,799 But I don't really care about that. 197 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,402 Well, you better care, Mr. Smarty Pants. 198 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,094 No ratings means no show. 199 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,738 If you want to keep reaching out to people, 200 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,031 you have to keep up with the times. 201 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,599 Oh, all right. 202 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,118 All right, we're 10 seconds to air, guys. 203 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,352 Remember, big, big, big. 204 00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,813 And five, four, three... 205 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,899 It's your hour of power 206 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,442 on midday mountain cable access. 207 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,836 Put your hands together and welcome 208 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,403 the only man in town 209 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,822 who always has a fully stocked wine cellar. 210 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:13,243 Jesus Christ! 211 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,412 Uhh... Hi. 212 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,331 Uh, y-yeah, okay. 213 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,936 Beginning today, we're taking the show 214 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,501 in a new direction. 215 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,336 We've got some very interesting people 216 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505 coming on the show this week for you, our viewers. 217 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:27,799 Today's guest is TV's Gilligan, Mr. Bob Denver. 218 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,552 Here's Bob Denver! 219 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,223 Hi, Bob Denver. 220 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,141 Hi, Jesus, great to be here. 221 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,939 So, Bob, so you just get in town? 222 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,941 Yep, just got in. 223 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,612 So, um, so what have you been up to? 224 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,156 Nothing, nothing really at all. 225 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,869 Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. 226 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,538 You gotta have something... 227 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,705 Oh, boy. 228 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,292 And after killing the entire Viet Cong army, 229 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,169 they returned to base camp. 230 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,980 Once there they rode the devil's drop roller coaster 231 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,839 and ate cotton candy and ultimately, 232 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,133 Ned got the Purple Heart for his courageous defense 233 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,219 of the log ride. 234 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,471 So was the horror of Vietnam. The end. 235 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,639 The end. 236 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,558 Are there any questions? 237 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,809 Yes, Mr. Garrison. 238 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,477 Yes, where the 239 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,188 did you hear this ridiculous load of bullshit? 240 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,648 From Vietnam veterans. 241 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,024 Well, boys, it's obvious to me 242 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,693 that you didn't do your work 243 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,128 and then you stayed up all night making up 244 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,152 some ridiculous lie. 245 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,655 No, no, we didn't. 246 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,073 You all receive an F-minus. 247 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,324 F-minus? Can he do that? 248 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,951 But we're not making it up. 249 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,661 Stanley, the Vietnam War was war. 250 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,996 There weren't galloping steeds 251 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,914 or singing birds or log rides. 252 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:41,915 How do you know? You weren't even there. 253 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,625 Well, that's it! 254 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,750 All of you have detention for the rest of the week! 255 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,174 Sweet. 256 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,885 Welcome to detention, mm-kay. 257 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,054 Mr. Garrison told me about your little joke. 258 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,490 It's important for you all to know why 259 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,016 you're in detention 260 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,268 for you to obtain the full benefits from it. 261 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,033 You're here because you're inferior, okay, 262 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,814 you're here because you're awkward, okay? 263 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,001 Well, Stan, thanks a lot for having such a cool uncle 264 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,776 that got us all detention for a week. 265 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,129 Yeah, dude, your uncle Jimbo sucks ass. 266 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,529 Shh, okay. 267 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,989 Why would he just invent a story 268 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,354 instead of telling us the truth? 269 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,700 Well, let' see. Maybe 'cause 270 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,011 he's an old drunk hillbilly dick. 271 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,286 Shh, okay. 272 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,704 We got to get him back, dude. 273 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,456 - Totally. - How? 274 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:23,766 Well, he screwed us by making something up. 275 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,870 I say we do the same thing. 276 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,543 What do you mean? 277 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,895 Did you guys ever see that one "Brady Bunch" 278 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,212 where the guy... 279 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,009 Oh, yeah, sweet. 280 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,595 Super sweet. Yes! 281 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,305 And now back to "Huntin' and Killin'" 282 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,015 with South Park's favorite hunters, 283 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,558 Jimbo and Ned. 284 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,060 Welcome, hunters. 285 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,895 Boy, have we got a show for you today. 286 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,064 We have just received a tape from another viewer 287 00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,774 who filmed the Mexican staring frog 288 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,739 of southern Sri Lanka right here in South Park. 289 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,695 Yes, now we're about to roll the film, 290 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,698 but remember, if you look the Mexican staring frog 291 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,950 in the eyes, you can go catatonic. 292 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,637 We don't know if this applies to pictures 293 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,787 of the frog or not, 294 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,580 but who wants to take chances? 295 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,832 So when we roll this film, be sure to look away. 296 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,919 Okay, roll the film, Tom. 297 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,173 Is it over? 298 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,341 Okay, it's over. 299 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,009 Well, there you have it. 300 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,820 Undeniable proof that the Mexican staring frog 301 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,513 of southern Sri Lanka exists. 302 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,682 And you saw it here on the Jimbo and Ned show. 303 00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,326 Dude, I can't believe they fell for it. 304 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,851 Yeah, what a couple of dumbasses. 305 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,730 Yeah. 306 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,333 Come on, we gotta go make another one. 307 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,525 Lying kicks ass. 308 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,650 - Jesus! - Yeah? 309 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,319 We're in trouble. 310 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,963 The Jimbo and Ned show made up some ridiculous 311 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,739 staring frog story and jumped another 312 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,283 - two points in the ratings. - Uh-oh. So what are we 313 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,119 - supposed to do? - I don't know. 314 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,930 We'll have to continue with the changes we've made 315 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,622 and then go even further. 316 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,792 And we're back in five, four, three... 317 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,293 Remember, big, big, big. 318 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,926 If you're just joining us, 319 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,029 we've been listening to Michelle's incredible story 320 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,638 of survival. Go on, Michelle. 321 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,557 Well, as I was saying, I tried and tried 322 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,600 but my overturned car just wouldn't budge. 323 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,103 My husband was trapped for 12 hours. 324 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,938 And yet somehow he managed to survive. 325 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,648 That's right. 326 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,653 He's a very brave man, and I love him very much. 327 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,318 I love you, too. 328 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,462 Well, let's see if the audience 329 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,486 has any questions. 330 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,406 Yes, you over there. 331 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:24,244 I think she needs to kick him to the curb, baby. 332 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,414 - Kick who to the curb? - Her no-good husband. 333 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,751 She's got to lose that zero and get herself a hero. 334 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,335 But... 335 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:34,713 He wants to have his cake and eat it too. 336 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,090 He's got to dump that trash, girlfriend. 337 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,925 It's all about respect. 338 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,761 You gotta have respect for yourself. 339 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,056 I think we've somewhat missed the point here. 340 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,222 Let's go to somebody else. 341 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:47,893 Yes, your comments. 342 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,728 Montel, I think we're forgetting something 343 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,271 very important in all this. 344 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,023 Okay, sure, he touched some children 345 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,983 but the man is a great singer 346 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,860 and he's entertained us for so many years. 347 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,196 - What are you talking about? - Michael Jackson. 348 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,740 All this badmouthing, putting the man down. 349 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:04,034 Maybe he did touch some children now and then. 350 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,786 But come on, it's Michael Jackson. 351 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,078 Michael Jackson! 352 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,999 Uh, we'll be back right after these messages. 353 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,417 Ready, you guys? 354 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,418 Ready! 355 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,836 Okay, action. 356 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:20,884 I am the deadly Mexican staring frog 357 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,928 of southern Sri Lanka. 358 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,392 - It's supposed to be a frog. - I know that. 359 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,144 Since when do frogs talk, Cartman? 360 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,230 It's a Sri Lanka frog. 361 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,106 - Der, Cartman! - Der yourself, hippy. 362 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,834 Just do it again, Cartman, and don't make it talk. 363 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,610 Okay, here we go, ready? 364 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,935 - Are you ready, Cartman? - I'm ready, Steven Spielberg! 365 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,322 Action! 366 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,074 Screw you guys. 367 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,409 Wait, why do I have to dress up like an old lady? 368 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,453 'Cause old ladies are fat and you are too. 369 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,223 Come on, Cartman, the way we're shooting this, 370 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,873 nobody will even know it's you. 371 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,000 - They better not. - Okay, when I yell action, 372 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,961 you start to walk this way, 373 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,480 then Kenny's gonna pull the plastic frog in front of you 374 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,588 and you have to be scared. 375 00:13:58,713 --> 00:13:59,756 Scared of a plastic frog? 376 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,424 It's acting, Cartman. 377 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,385 You have to pretend you're really scared, 378 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,279 then the Mexican staring frog will look you in the eyes, 379 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:06,864 then you fall down like you're dead, okay, ready? 380 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,306 This is stupid. 381 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,891 Good, and action! 382 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,981 Well, it appears as though a lot of you skeptics 383 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,376 thought that the film we showed of the Mexican staring frog 384 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,318 of southern Sri Lanka was a fake. 385 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,195 They say it didn't harm anybody. 386 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,655 Well, it just so happens that 387 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,282 we just received another film 388 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,741 from another anonymous viewer. 389 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:27,909 Roll it. 390 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,332 There you go. 391 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,459 Proof that not only is this frog real, 392 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,145 but it is doing harm to the people of South Park 393 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,588 as we speak. 394 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,339 - Damn that frog. - Well, that does it. 395 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,675 All this week, Ned and I will be 396 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,510 risking life and limb as we go on location 397 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,262 to hunt the Mexican staring frog 398 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,597 of southern Sri Lanka. 399 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:49,722 Join us, won't you? 400 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,558 Oh, no, no, no, no. 401 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,411 This is the biggest publicity stunt I've ever seen. 402 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:55,896 - Damn, those hunters are clever. - Uh, clever? 403 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,397 It's genius, it really is. 404 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,583 Hell, I even want to watch them hunt 405 00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,858 the Mexican staring frog. 406 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,902 - Unless. - Unless what? 407 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,267 Unless we can prove to the world 408 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,654 that the whole thing is a sham. 409 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,090 If we prove that the Mexican staring frog 410 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,532 of southern Sri Lanka 411 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,051 is just something made up by Jimbo and Ned, 412 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,094 we can have them taken off the air, 413 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,703 perhaps even killed. 414 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,472 Look, why don't we just stick to our own show? 415 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,664 People will watch again. 416 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:17,250 Oh, J, you are so omnipotent, 417 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,919 and yet so naive. 418 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,837 We'll launch a full investigation 419 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,231 and in the meantime we can cash in 420 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,255 on the videotapes. 421 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,841 What videotapes? 422 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,569 Yea, my children, I am the way and the light... 423 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,303 You've seen "Jesus and Pals." 424 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,055 Now you've got to get the video. 425 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,390 "Jesus and Pals Too Hot for TV." 426 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,935 Things get a little out of control. 427 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,770 You won't believe your eyes. 428 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,939 Order now, only $19.95. 429 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,858 Remember, this is stuff you can't see on TV. 430 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,987 Anonymous tip? 431 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,822 Yeah, it was left on our answering machine. 432 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,550 All it said was that they saw the Mexican staring frog 433 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,052 just south of Stark's Pond this morning. 434 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,345 Hey Ned, remember that time we got 435 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,870 that anonymous tip back in Nam? 436 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,514 You were in Nam? Where were you stationed? 437 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,165 - Da Nang. - With the log ride? 438 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,334 - Yup. - Man, I was in Tet. 439 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,169 We had a badass rollercoaster 440 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,129 but all we ever wanted was a log ride. 441 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:07,008 We waited and we waited but they never built us one. 442 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,969 I think Danforth wanted a log ride 443 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,304 more than anybody but he had to settle 444 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,974 with that lame dinosaur water adventure ride. 445 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:17,352 That war was hell on everybody. 446 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,980 Good, okay, okay bye. Great news, everybody. 447 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,582 This week's ratings are through the roof. 448 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,149 We're up to 20 people. 449 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,568 - Wow, do we get more money? - No, but I do. 450 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:26,837 We're now the highest rated show 451 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,279 on mountain cable access. 452 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,323 God bless the Mexican staring frog. 453 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,592 Dude, they're gonna look so stupid. 454 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,034 Totally. 455 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,595 They deserve it for lying to us, dude. 456 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,663 Revenge is so very, very sweet. 457 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,581 They're here, hurry and hide. 458 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,543 Let's hunt. 459 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,420 We'll start with a two-shot of you and Ned 460 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,981 getting your equipment together and... 461 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,297 Jimbo, look! 462 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,133 - Hit the deck! - What is it? 463 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,578 It's him, the Mexican staring frog 464 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,052 of southern Sri Lanka. 465 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,238 He's right over there on that rock. 466 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,805 - He is? - Dumbass! 467 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,241 You've gotta keep your eyes away from him. 468 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:56,391 Stay down. 469 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,184 Ned, you take flank position. 470 00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,370 I'll try and keep it turned away from you. 471 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,394 Roger that. 472 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,813 Hello, fellow hunters. 473 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,314 Have we got a show for you today. 474 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,316 The Mexican staring frog is sunning itself 475 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,069 on a rock directly behind us. 476 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,071 We've got to take the frog by surprise. 477 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,907 I'm gonna create a diversion using this incendiary device, 478 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,785 while Ned will ambush him from the rear. 479 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,537 Now, Ned, he's not looking! 480 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,998 Quick, Ned! Hit him with the shotgun! 481 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,708 Now, Ned! 482 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,877 Ned, Ned? 483 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,674 Oh, no! 484 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,968 Come on, Ned, buddy, snap out of it. 485 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,678 Come back to me, buddy. 486 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:34,971 Are you getting all this? 487 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,558 Hold on to your butts. 488 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,393 Take that, you demon frog! 489 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,187 Ned, Ned, can you hear me? 490 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:43,456 Quick, somebody call an ambulance! 491 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,856 This man is catatonic! 492 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,341 Get the Flight for Life helicopter. 493 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,776 Holy crap, dude. 494 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,155 "But pony boy was beat up pretty bad. 495 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,283 He kept saying, 'Stay gold."' 496 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,285 Oh, Ned, if you can hear me, 497 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,037 you gotta snap out of it. 498 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,372 'Cause if you don't, I'll never forgive myself. 499 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,416 Oh, Stanley, he's gone! 500 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,168 My only friend in the world is gone. 501 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,645 Dude, he's okay. That frog wasn't even real. 502 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,046 Look. 503 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,464 Oh, what the hell are you doing? 504 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,257 I almost looked right at it. 505 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,610 Dude, it's just a plastic frog. It's not real. 506 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,135 - Check it out. - What? 507 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,863 We shot all those videos and sent them in. 508 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,388 Yeah, we made the whole thing up. 509 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,991 It was all just a really, really funny joke. 510 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,183 You sent in those videos? 511 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,768 Oh, this is not good. 512 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,561 My best friend is a vegetable, 513 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,814 and I'm gonna be the laughingstock of South Park. 514 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,398 Oh, come on, Ned's faking it. 515 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,192 That frog was just a piece of plastic. 516 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,902 Yeah, come on, Ned, quit faking. 517 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,529 You boys don't understand. 518 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,239 Ned was so freaked out by the idea 519 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,032 of the Mexican staring frog 520 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,201 that he must have sent himself into a deep coma. 521 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,702 It's a psychosomatic response. 522 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,538 I couldn't help overhearing 523 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,706 - your conversation just now. - Who are you? 524 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,684 I produce a little TV show called "Jesus and Pals." 525 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,210 You might have heard of it. 526 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,878 Your story's amazing, full of jealousy, 527 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,439 duplicity, backstabbing, and bitterness. 528 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,507 Uh, thanks? 529 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,193 How would you like to share your remarkable story 530 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,760 with us on tomorrow's show? 531 00:18:58,012 --> 00:18:59,573 We're back with Jimbo and his nephew, Stan. 532 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,224 These kids can't stop lying, can they? 533 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,600 That's right, Jesus. 534 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,185 No respect for their elders. 535 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,520 As some of you may know, 536 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,230 I host a local show on hunting. 537 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,835 Thanks. We've been hunting the Mexican staring frog 538 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,339 for a week based on some video footage 539 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,070 we received from a viewer. 540 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,655 Well, it turns out that these kids 541 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,365 faked the footage. 542 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,135 - Is that true, Stan? - It was just a joke. 543 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,327 We didn't think it would hurt anybody. 544 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,079 We'll find out more about this debauchery 545 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,831 when we return. 546 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,333 And we're out. 547 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,960 You're corpses up here. 548 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,795 We need a lot more action from everybody. 549 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,463 Like what? 550 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,269 Like go ahead and tell how your nephew Stan 551 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,509 - takes drugs and worships Satan. - Satan, got it. 552 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,737 Whoa, I don't take drugs and worship Satan. That's lying. 553 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,781 Give you a taste of your own medicine, you little fibber! 554 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,908 You kids, I didn't bring you on this show to be boring. 555 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,226 Somebody get pissed off and throw a chair at Ned here. 556 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,061 - Dibs! - Remember... 557 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,564 you all start to fight after the chair is thrown. 558 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,274 - That's your cue. - Right. 559 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,819 Welcome back to "Jesus and Pals." 560 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,422 Jimbo, why do you think little Stanley lies? 561 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,031 I'll tell you why. 562 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:01,326 Because he's on drugs and he worships the devil. 563 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,622 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 564 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,290 Wow. Now, Stanley, it sounds like 565 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,292 your uncle's really worried about you. 566 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,753 Well, I only did it 'cause... he molested me. 567 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,424 - Why you little piece of crap! - You big piece of crap! 568 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,718 That's it, now I'm all pissed off. 569 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,595 - Take that, hippy. - Hey! 570 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,264 Jesus, Jesus! 571 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,184 Okay, okay, that's enough. 572 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,810 Take that, you asshole. 573 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,687 What the was that? 574 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,105 Let's watch the language, people. 575 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,815 Bring it on, you bitch. 576 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,442 Hey, get off of him you nut-sack! 577 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,528 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 578 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,822 Let's all just make our way back to our seats. 579 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,618 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! 580 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,078 You bastards! 581 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,830 Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! 582 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,918 Let's all just make our way back to our seats. 583 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,380 Shut the up! 584 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,817 Jesus, what is wrong with you people? 585 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,301 Look around you, Stanley. 586 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,487 Look at the all the pain and suffering 587 00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,096 your lie has caused. 588 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:04,990 We only did it because Jimbo lied to us first. 589 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,492 We had this report on the Vietnam War for school 590 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:08,101 and we interviewed Jimbo about it. 591 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,453 And he made up all this stuff about Vietnam, 592 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,937 and he got us in trouble. 593 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,422 Hey now, everything I told you boys 594 00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:14,232 about the war actually happened. 595 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,567 Mr. Garrison said there was no way that you could've 596 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,212 defeated the entire Viet Cong army by yourself. 597 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,196 The entire Viet Cong army? 598 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,407 I... well, okay, I might have embellished the truth 599 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,450 a little but that's different. 600 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,494 - Is it? - Well, sure, I mean... 601 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,289 - Well, no, I guess not. - And as for you, Stan... 602 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,291 I think you need to kick your drug habit. 603 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,376 Wait a second, I don't take drugs. That was a lie. 604 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:35,458 - Wait, Jimbo made that up? - No, your producer did. 605 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,022 She made Jimbo tell everybody that I did drugs. 606 00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,589 What? 607 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,300 During the break your producer came over 608 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:41,610 and told Jimbo what to say about me. 609 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:42,802 She told him to lie. 610 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,637 It's true, she did. 611 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:47,682 - I'm such a tool. - Oh, really? 612 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,576 Yeah, then she told us to throw a chair at Ned. 613 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,786 Yeah, I didn't want to do it, Jesus. 614 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,437 They made me do that. 615 00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:54,355 Screw this show, I thought this was all real! 616 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,232 Wait, everybody, come back. 617 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:58,276 Don't feel too bad, Montel, 618 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:01,195 we all wanna touch children sometimes, it's only natural. 619 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:05,742 I'm sorry, Stan. 620 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,452 I was just trying to tell a good story. 621 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:08,846 I never meant for you boys to get in trouble. 622 00:22:08,870 --> 00:22:10,330 We're sorry, too, Uncle Jimbo. 623 00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:11,640 We're sorry for making you look stupid 624 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,541 in front of the whole world. 625 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,311 Yeah, and we're sorry for turning Ned into a vegetable. 626 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,812 He'll be fine, I'll just take him home 627 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,379 and show him some good hardcore porn. 628 00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:20,965 He'll snap right out of it, won't you, Ned? 629 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,027 I want to apologize to all of you for what happened in there. 630 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,886 In our competition for ratings, 631 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,655 we all lost sight of why we got into show business 632 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:27,679 in the first place. 633 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,223 Yeah, titties and beer. 634 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:30,600 Actually, I was referring more 635 00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,518 to the pursuit of truth, but... 636 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,621 Well, anyway, I can't wait to get back to my old show 637 00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,605 without all the glitz and ratings and producers... 638 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,232 Wait a sec, where is your producer? 639 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,610 - I sent her away. - Sent her away where? 640 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,614 What is this? What's happening? 641 00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:47,033 Welcome to my dominion. 642 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,287 Hey, take a load off, put your feet up. 643 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:52,806 Me and Satan were just about to go shopping 644 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,332 for furniture. Come on, Satan. 645 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,793 Okay, honey. 646 00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,961 No! 647 00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:01,798 War is hell. 648 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:05,718 My brother's dead in my arms. 649 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:09,514 In war, war is hell. 650 00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:12,725 It's hell for you and me